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Memories Are Forever This page is dedicated to my aunt Linda, who passed away on January 22, 1998. Linda was one of my mother's older sisters. She left us peacefully surrounded by her family and closest friends.
Linda faught her cancer with courage and humor. She could alwaus make you laugh even in the most difficult times. My aunt had a special way at looking at life and faced all it's challenges straight on. She was always thinking of others. After her children had grown she decided to go to school to be a nurse. Something she was very proud of. My aunt touched my life in many ways and shared some very special memories. She and only she was allowed to call me by a special nickname. When I was a baby she nicknamed me Beanie (this was long before the Beanie Baby craze). From her I learned to twril my hair especially when I'm sleepy, I'll always have the memories of sitting next to her chair and letting her play with my hair practically putting me to sleep. Even today I know she is watching over all of us in her family and laughing and sharing our joys and sadnesses as well as helping us to continue on with our lives even if it's through our memories of her. I don't want this to be a page of sadness but more of one that celebrates my aunt's joy forlife and some of her feeling in her own words when she found out she was ill. Her death was a result of lung cancer.Cancer is something that has taken so many in my mother's family. Hopefully someday a cure will be found for all forms of cancer and this devistating disease will be a thing of the past. One ray of hope in this fight against cancer is an organization called HOSPICE. They not only help the patient but the patients family in dealing with this disease. You may be wondering why I chose this particular background on this page it reminds me of the clouds Linda loved so much. When my aunt passed away it was a beautiful winter day the sun was shinning and not a cloud in the sky. Ten minutes before she left us a large fluffy cloud appeared over her house and ten minutes after her death it was gone, just as mysteriously as it had appeared. For many months Linda couldn't relax and my mother made her a hypnosis tape that would take her up to a peaceful cloud where she would relax. We in her family believe that it was a cloud sent for her to take her to heaven. (You may choose this or not). |
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Linda's Words A cat scan Friday found lesions on my brain, which I had expected because of headaches that knocked the wind out of my sails. I don’t know the outcome yet- but I know that every day I can do less- difficult to walk- tipping to right. I can cope okay with pain of headaches away- than I feel very peaceful.
I haven’t been to church much for a few years- not because I don’t believe or that I don’t pray everyday. I thank God everyday for my time here- I have been blessed my whole life - wonderful and caring parents. Kind and loving sisters and brother. I admire each one for their determination to go through their lives showing caring and concern for others- climbing every mountain knowing when they reach the top there is another mountain waiting to be climbed. I thank God that I found and chased down a most wonderful man at an early age-married and loved him forever- he is my rock . Our life together has been wonderful memories for a lifetime and then some. We were told we would have no children - I prayed overtime and won again. I thank God everyday for our three beautiful babies.They are the best - and I am so proud of them and their children. Babies and elderly are so easy- only need a kind word or deed to please them and make them happy. All my children amaze me for their kind and caring ways to help others get through rough times. I don’t know where they get their strength. I pray everyday they keep it up especially now with me. I want them to focus on their lives and continue their dutiesjust as they would if I wasn’t sick - that would give me the most peace of mind now.And to do it with a little humor- not doom and gloom. Don’t dwell on things you cannot change- you never know when you will have to climb the same mountain I just got to. Thank-you God for my 3 beautiful grandchildren and my little Morgan. Mom was right, everything happens for a reason and Dr. Schorr said these babies have to born to the young for a reason. Mike is 13 yrs. old, if Beverley had waited to have children (as many are now) I would not have had all the pleasure I have gotten from them. I enjoy them and they pick me up when I am down, make me laugh when I don’t think I can . I burst with pride every time I see them, as I do everytime I see my children. And friends - thank God for them which includes my family. Friends that I have, make the world a wonderful place, adds ease to life. They are there to help before you have to ask. I love them all. Don’t ask me why ? Thy will be done! I don’t want to be remembered sick and weak or that I feel my life was worthless. I think I had a sense of humor. I want to see that in everyone I ever touched. Live with a sense of humor and caring for others- “Everyone”- don’t judge people - everyone has a cross to bear. Some can’t cope as well as others- maybe they need your help - just maybe. August 4, 1996 This is Sunday. No pain just tired want to continue to keep up on my feelings. (not enough paper or time to write it all). My mind is going like my mouth usually does (motor mouth). I just want you to know how much I love you ( I think you already do) In case God takes away my ability to communicate. I already can’t spell or write as good as I should -( But then I never could! August 5,1996 Felt great yesterday and today. No headaches. Usually very early in am 3:30 or 4:00 have some pressure in my head. Get up early eat and take meds with good effect. I am not tipsy or dizzy yesterday or today. Actually I feel better than I have in 3 weeks. Had a great day - quiet with Lu yesterday. I tried to talk to Mike and Nick they act scared and sad - the look I have seen from a lot of children in the past. I don’t know if I helped them - I don’t want them afraid or sad. I know sad will be there for a time. I want them to cope well (as well as can be expected). Rudy is still my Rock. I love him. Although I know he is upset. He is awake and out of bed alot during the night. I wish alot of times I had not told anyone the cat scan report- Whatever this is I probably had for a while and no one was upset because they didn’t know. I might like it better if no one knew - shouldn’t have to know such a thing ( children and husband). These are journal entries by Linda Croft - written immediately following her being diagnosed with cancer. It was tucked away in a place to be found by her family. Was found January 23, 1998, one day after her death. (The hardest thing I ever had to do was type these words but in a way it was a healing for me to help others know how Linda really and truley cared) |
God Saw My cousin Bev and I found this poem on the night her mother passed away.
God saw you growing tired, and a cure was not to be, so he put his arms around you, and whispered “come with me” A golden heart stopped beating, hardworking hands at rest God broke our hearts to prove to us he takes only the best. |
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In Memory Of Linda An Angel on Earth, blessed us
with her presence. Now gone from this paiful place And into the ascending heavens. God welcomed her with open arms; and took her away from the pain that did her harm! Tears are cried, our hearts wept but there is one promise that will always be kept; Memories will never fade! You will be with us until our dying days! You will never be far, because you shine with the stars. We hear your voice in the wind. We see your love in the bright shining sun! So spread your new wings, and prepare to fly, our blue eyed angel your new flight begins. We know that you will watch over us every moment of everyday; and your tender love will never go astray. It flows with every beat of our heart. Never will family and friends be apart, for we have a beautiful angel in our hearts watching over us from the heavens! This poems was written by Kathy VanSpanje (my brother's girlfriend) on Jan. 24,1998. |
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